Curse that online Quiz
by Project Halfbreed
Summary: When two sisters answer an online History quiz correctly, they are suddenly given Hetalia units as a prize, But it's not the sisters who will need help, the units will need all they can to survive on a small farm filled with animals bent on killing them.
1. Online quizzes are evil

A/N: I decided to make a Hetalia unit story since I love writing comedy, and felt like torturing a few people.

Hope you guys enjoy it.

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><p>Chapter 1- Quiz of Doom<p>

The sun rose as the birds chirped sweetly as a new day began in a huge millionaire mansion as a hot blonde bombshell rose her head from the silk sheets as she turned her head to new lover whose sun kissed skin glowed brightly like the sun itself. She giggled as she cuddled closer to him and buried her face into his neck…

"I love you Antonio Fernandez Carriedo" She whispered.

.

.

.

"OH…GOD IT BURNS!" A 22 year old woman screamed as she frantically clicked the back button on her laptop to go back to the main page. She shook her head as she tried to brain bleach that horrible writing she read just now.

"You read another Mary-sue story with Hetalia didn't you, Maria" said a loud voice

The dark haired woman almost jumped in surprised as she looked over to the voice behind her. A browned skin teenager looked at her with her arms crossed.

"Yes…It was horrible…It was some chick with Spain, you know my OTP is Spamano… oh god... Nene it was worst then the time I read about Romano leaving Spain for Turkey" Maria ran her hand over her short black hair.

The twelve year old known as Nene glared at Maria, "I told you to stop reading that stuff."

"Yeah I know, but I needed to see why if had so little reviews." It was then that Maria looked at her and blinked in surprised….

Nene was starting to get creeped out. "what?"

"What are you wearing Nene?" Maria asked

Nene was wearing some pink pants, while wearing a pink and lime green jacket with a picture of Gir on the back saying 'I love cupcakes'

Nene only grinned, as her high ponytail swayed "What jealous or something? Not everyone can be as great as I am especially while wearing that."

Nene made her point as she pointed at Maria's black skinny jeans and her red shirt that had a picture of a tomato on it with the words 'got tomato'.

"Anyway what do you want, dear little sister of mine" Maria asked sarcastically

"I'm starving, make me some dinner." Nene retorted

"I'll do it in a minute let me just read this other fan fiction." She answered

"No, if you don't make me dinner this minute. I'll cook dinner myself."

Maria shivered as she got off the laptop. "God forbid that your cooking is worse than an Englishman's cooking, fine I'll get started."

"Hey my cooking isn't that bad" Nene yelled angrily

"You couldn't even boil an egg right. You ended up setting the stove on fire, if I wasn't home that night you would have burn my house down." Maria said

Nene just turned her head. "Whatever Maria, just make me dinner."

"Yes, brat" Maria said as she grabbed a pot and started on dinner.

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><p>Maria sighed again as she stirred the tomato sauce in a small pot as she heard Nene gasping and giggling on the kitchen table looking at her laptop on the newest doujinshi on her favorite shipping.<p>

It was probably the reason she asked for dinner, the rule was when Maria wasn't using the laptop; Nene had full rights to use it instead whether it was for school, or for entertainment or her favorite thing looking up as much Yaoi as she wanted.

Maria really regretted introducing Nene to the concept of Yaoi; it was an accident really when Nene had first came to live at her house. She had decided to watch Gravitation on TV and the moment Nene watched the first episode she became addicted. To be introduced to Yaoi at such a young age… well at least she was able to go to Yaoi-con every year.

"Oh god, America you're so going to be raped by Russia in that skimpy outfit" Nene muttered while drooling at the screen.

Nene had a favorite anime at the moment and it was something known as Hetalia for the last three maybe four years she and Nene had been obsessing over their favorite parings and Nene's OTP was a little thing called RusAme…

Maria could never figure out what was so great about Ivan Braginski and Alfred F. Jones being together as a couple. Most fanfics she ever read always ended with those two having drunken sex or Russia ending up drugging America and having his way with him…Probably the only reason why she read them was because she always like reading stories of a strong person being force to be a submissive uke to please his sadistic master.

Then again Maria almost acted the same in the Spamano, GerIta, and the Germancest shipping. Most had some fluff, others had some raging bondage, and other just went with other kinks she enjoyed to drool over making her smile like Spain seeing an army of cute little turtles.

"Hey…Hey…HEY!"

Maria blinked from her perverted thoughts as she looked at Nene, who was glaring at her.

"Yeah, Brat?" She asked

"Two things…One your nose is bleeding and two the tomato sauce is burning."

Maria gave out a small shriek as she quickly moves the pot away from the stove and quickly grabbed a napkin to cover her nose while cursing wildly in Spanish.

Nene giggled madly as she looked at her sister before returning back to her doujinshi; however she frowned as she saw that the page change.

**Take this Quiz and get free subscription to Yaoi doujinshi for free**

Now that was interesting, free Yaoi and all she needed to take a quiz, was she really going to pass up something like this…Hell no…

Nene clicked on the page, however the moment she saw the questions, she frowned. For one thing the question weren't multiple choices, you had to type it. Secondly it was all world history questions, which was Maria's specialty.

"Maria, Can you help me here?" Nene asked

Maria turned to her as she managed to save the tomato sauce and was currently mixing it with the pasta. "Can't you see I'm a little busy…?"

Nene pouted "please….I'll let you live when I take over the world."

Nene had a dream and her dream was to take over the world and for some reason destroy china and bring communism back to Russia and said that if she was able to take over the world the first country to go down is America, Maria guessed that the reason for it was because Nene hated China from Hetalia and wanted Russia being in his crazy communism self so he can have America all sexed up and moaning so wanton…such a fan girl she was…just like herself.

Maria scoffed "Even if you take over the world, you won't kill me you need me to cook you food and make sure no one kills you."

"I can make my guards do that and hire a personal cook, I can survive without you." Nene said smugly

"Yeah, however would you trust random strange who could easily betray you with your life, or trust your older sister who has taken care of you, clothed you and feed you since you were five. Either way you know damn well my loyalty to you would be better than anyone else oh future ruler of the known world."

Nene sighed "fine, you can be my servant. So as your first task as my slave, stop what you're doing and help me here."

Maria sighed as she finishes making the pasta and covered the pot with a lid and walked over to Nene and her laptop.

"Alright what do you need?" She asked

"Answer these questions for me will you. I would get free Yaoi if you answer correctly." Nene replied

Maria looked over Nene before sighing "fine, just so you know I'm only doing this because I know you won't leave me alone."

Nene only smirked as she grabbed a plate and started getting some pasta "yeah…yeah just like my Gravitation Yaoi."

Maria only ignored her as she stared at the first question on the quiz.

**What is the German word for lightning war?**

Maria smiled one of her favorite things about it was learning about the German culture. It was probably the reason why her room was filled with German and Prussia based stuff.

She quickly typed in Blitzkrieg as her answer as it changes to the next question.

**What two countries stayed Neutral in WWII?**

Well that was an easy one; In Hetalia Switzerland proved his neutrality since it was common for him to shoot anyone that came into his yard whether they were allied or axis power and if she remembered her history correctly. Sweden was another neutral country since his government didn't want to join either side.

Maria quickly typed in Switzerland and Sweden as her answer as went to the next question

**What civil war battle lasted three day in America?**

Nene looked at the question as she sat behind Maria. "That's an easy one; it's Gettysburg. The history channel had a whole civil war week last month."

Maria smiled as she typed in Gettysburg as it switched to the next question

**What year was the Berlin wall built and what did the Germans called it?**

Nene had a confused expression on her face "This one of your questions Maria, I don't know much about Germans…"

Maria sighed as she typed in 1961; the wall of shame. The question was accepted.

"How did you know it was that?" Nene asked

"I played Mario's time machine the other day and one of the levels I had to get a sledge hammer over to the year 1989 level and it gives you facts about it. One of them said the wall was built in 1961 as well as the Germans calling it the wall of shame."

"Oh…nerd" Nene muttered

"Shut up, if I'm a nerd then you're a nerd too." Maria retorted

"No I'm not I just a fan" Nene replied

The next question popped up before they could continue arguing.

**What country was able to get a man walk into space?**

"Oh I know America did it!" As Nene was about to type in the question herself she was pushed away from the laptop.

"You are an idiot! The question say Space not moon, America was only able to reach the Moon. Russia on the other hand was able to get a man to walk in space first." Maria yelled

"Oh, you didn't have to shove me." Nene yelled back.

"Sorry, but unless you want free Yaoi you need me to answer these questions right."

Maria typed in USSR as the question disappeared and another pop-up appeared

**Congratulations you are our 1000 person to answer our quiz correctly, you just won a free subscription of Yaoi as well as free H-**

Before they could read the rest of the words the entire house went black, the two girls looked at each other before blinking.

A blackout happened…

"Nooooooooo! My free Yaoi, Damn you Benjamin Franklin for inventing electricity, this world will rue the day it screwed with me." Nene screamed

"It just a black out Nene, and it was Thomas Edison who invented electricity, Benjamin Franklin was the guy who flew a kite in the middle of a thunder storm." Maria told her

"Whatever Maria, just fix it already will you." Nene sulked in a corner.

Maria just sighed as she grabbed her shoes and went outside and went to the circuit breaker.

The old two story house was a bit of a wrecked on the outside, but it was fairly good on the inside. The house was built during the depression; however she got the house eight years ago along with the large barn and pool. She could hear the distant mooing of the cows from the barn and the sound of crickets chirping their sweet lullaby in the night.

She looked at the switches as she switched it on and off as the dark house glowed once again with electricity before going back inside.

Nene was currently frowning at the laptop as she had manage to get back to the website,

"What you can't get on it?" Maria asked

"No and it won't let me take that stupid quiz again says that I can only take the quiz once. This totally sucks." She muttered

Maria sighed "yeah, well let's just eat and go to bed."

Nene stretched her arms "I already ate I'm just going to go upstairs and listen to my music alright see you tomorrow."

"Alright, goodnight Nene." Maria muttered

Nene disappeared upstairs as Maria sighed as she covered the pasta with the lid and turned off the light. She suddenly didn't feel like eating and whenever that happened she always had to clean up.

Just like the time Nene had trained all twelve of their chickens to go up and down the stairs, What was her reason she couldn't even recall, however she ended up cleaning the bird shit off the carpet such a nice saturday wasted.

Well there was no use to think about it now, she decided to upstairs and hit the hay.

Tomorrow was Sunday after all.

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><p>"Argh! Get off stupid dog let go of my leg…Help…HELP!"<p>

Maria jolted out of bed at the sounds of someone screaming for help and recognizing the sounds of a certain loud bar quick got off the floor and ran downstairs (trying her hardest not to kill herself from missing a step) and got to the front door to see a man wearing a lime green suit on the ground while a giant German Shepard` on top of him with a piece of fabric down.

"Shadow! Get off him now." Maria commanded

The German Shepard looked over to his master before getting off the poor guy and went off to sit in the front porch.

Maria helped the man of the ground. "I'm sorry; Shadow tends to do that to strangers."

The guy on the ground only winced and started to dust himself as he looked at Maria and blushed "um…Miss you do realize what you are wearing at the moment right?"

Maria looked down at herself; she had forgotten to wear some pants and was currently wearing her black underwear and a red tank top.

She blushed "oh sorry about that, I heard your screaming and came down without thinking." She was also thankful that she lived in an area where the nearest neighbor was five miles away.

She looked at the man as he picked up his electric signature board off the grass. "Um… May I ask why you are trespassing into my yard, Mr.…?"

"Call me Eric; I'm here to deliver your free Hetalia units." he said calmly

"My what?"

"Your Hetalia units ma'am, you are Ms. Guadalupe Hidalgo Guerrero are you not?"

Maria winced at her birth name "Yes, but please call me Maria, But I didn't order any Hetalia units."

Eric looked over a few papers on his signing board "According to my files Ms. Maria you won them last night on that History quiz didn't you?"

Maria then remembered the pop-up before it had cut off so that's what she had won. "Oh… ok"

Eric handed her the signing board as he hauled a giant wooden crate into the house as Maria signed the board and handed it back to Eric. Eric took his board back and handed Maria an envelope.

"Thank you, your next unit will be delivered to you in three days from now and next time, try to remember wear some pants."

Maria blushed as she watched Eric get into his car (which was shaped in England's flying mint bunny (She wondered how she didn't saw that before) and drove away.

Maria gave Shadow a good pat on the head as she walked back inside into her living room before looking at the huge crate. She heard about these types of things happening in fan fictions; however this was a first for her. She quickly opened the envelope to see who she got.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt: User Guide and Manual**

Maria blushed as she started reading the entire manual; they had to send her one of her top five favorite character, It was like this her favorite romance was Spain/Romano. However when it came to her list of sexy Hetalia men, Prussia came in fourth place. In front of him on that list was Spain and Turkey fighting for first place and France down in third.

She looked over at the ways to get him out, she personally liked number three, pissing off someone wasn't exactly a good idea, especially someone like Prussia. The again, She was a little cranky this morning.

Maria took a few steps back and took a huge breath. "KALININGRAD! GET YOUR UNAWESOME ASS OUT OF THE FU-!"

Before Maria could finish her sentence pieces of wood flew through the living room as she was her body pressed against the wall with a hand on neck as a pair of bright red eyes stared at her in rage.

He glared at her. "The Hell did you just call me you unawesome brat!"

Maria felt a little lightheaded as the Prussia hand held her neck tightly; alright maybe calling Prussia Kaliningrad was a bad idea. She couldn't help but to put her hands on his wrist trying to get him to let go.

"Damn it; Let me go I can't breathe." Maria gasped as she saw black spots in her sight. Prussia released his hold on her as she fell on the floor gasping for air. Prussia only glared at her "Next time call me the awesome Prussia or maybe the Awesome Gilbert naw just call me your Awesomeness, you unawesome chick."

Maria only glared at him as she stood up. "You jerk you could have killed me like that."

"But I didn't, besides you deserve it."

"What just because I called you Kalil-"Maria was cut off.

"Finish that sentence and I'll beat your ass, woman or not."

"Chiga tu madre, idiota." She cursed at him

Gilbert only stayed silent; Maria wondered if he actually understands her spanish after all hanging out with Antonio probably taught him something. She then noticed that his eyes were staring a little lower. It suddenly hit her...

She wasn't wearing appropriate clothesright now.

Gilbert smirked as he then pressed his hands against the wall behind her as looked at her. "So girly... want to see my five meters"

Maria blushed as she suddenly pushed him away and started running to the other side of the room, however due to Gilbert entrance, Maria suddenly tripped and fell face first to floor. She groaned as she rolled on her back and rubbed her head, she heard Gilbert laughing as she looked over to him.

Gilbert looked over to her like predator about to eat a scrumptious bunny. "Kesesesese… Now time to invade some vital regions." He then jumped at her.

Maria quickly grabbed the nearest thing she could and closed her eyes and swung it.

There was a huge clank before Gilbert fell on the floor next to her. Maria looked at her weapon and saw it was her the sigapore cane she had hidden under the couch for when intruders or univited guest got into the house. She quickly got up and stared at Prussia's unconscious form before she nudged him with her foot to see if he was still alive.

He groaned, however he didn't get up. Maria sighed before she put her arms around Gilbert's armpits as she dragged him to the couch and laid him there. Maria sat there for a moment.

Alright so she had the personification of Prussia on her couch unconscious and probably going to be completely pissed when he wakes up. She needed to clean this mess, feed the chickens milk the cows and somehow unpack Gilbert's stuff and figure out where he's sleeping tonight...oh and tell Nene the situation when she wake up.

She finally stood and decided bore she did any of that she should first get a change of clothes before Prussia woke up and decided to try to invade her vital regions again.

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><p>Gilbert groaned as he opened his eyes, oh god He felt like he got hit by a truck or more like Hungary's frying pan. He sat up as He rubbed his head, did he get drunk again. He was too awesome for hangovers. He looked around as he noticed he was in an unfamiliar house. The memories suddenly came back to him. He was rudely awoken from his box and met this Spanish chick who had the never to call him Kaliningrad and was about to invade her vital regions and then he manage to cheap shot him (No he wasn't take by surprise he was too awesome for that) and somehow ended up on the couch.<p>

He heard a small chirp on his head; He brought his hand to his head as a small yellow ball of fluff chirped happily at him.

"Gilbird you're here too, that's awesome. Did you see that unawesome chick?"

"I'm right behind you, idiota." She replied

Gilbert jumped from the couch and onto the floor as he glared at the woman that rendered him unconscious.

"You unawesome bitch, don't sneak up on me like that." He noticed she was now wearing some dark denim pants and a light blue t-shirt, as she carried a small wooden box full of his clothing and set on the coffee table in front of him.

She gritted her teeth " I have a name you know."

"Fine then, tell me your unawesome name."

"It's Maria, and you should thank me for not deciding to throw you out into the street." She seethed

"You're the one who, decided to piss me, you Spanish brat." Gilbert yelled

"One I apologize for that even though you deserved it and two I'm Mexican not Spanish."

"Like I give a damn" He turned away from her as he started petting Gilbird

Maria only sighed, she was hoping to get a better reaction from him, then again this was Prussia. She just needed to make sure he got on his good side and there are two ways to get a man happy and that was food or sex.

"Hey Gilbert, are you hungry?"

Prussia looked at her with the corner of his eye "maybe"

"Then let's go to the kitchen and I'll make you something to eat."

Gilbert stood up as he followed her into the kitchen, Maria hope that maybe after a full stomach, he could be a little friendlier with her.

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><p>Gilbert sat in front of the kitchen table staring at a huge egg and ham omelet covered with cheddar cheese, with bacon and hash brown to the side. Beside the plate was some coffee.<p>

"Wow this food almost looks as awesome as me." Gilbert smiled as he grabbed a fork and started to dig in.

Maria smiled as she sipped some coffee as she prepared two more plates for herself and Nene. "So Prussia, you forgive me for hitting you on the head."

Gilbert stuffed his mouth with bacon. "If you make more of this awesome bacon, I'll forgive you."

Maria smiled as she sipped some more coffee and set the two plates on the table.

"Hew what's with the extra plate?" He asked

"My younger sister food" She replied

"Is she hot?" He asked as he bit into his hash brown.

"More like she really cute." Maria said calmly as she suddenly as a dark red aura appeared around her as she forked her omelet hard causing Prussia to jump. "And don't think about doing any vital region seizing, if anything should happen to her. I won't hesistate to murder that person and make it look like an accident." She said with a wicked smile.

Prussia only nodded as he tried his best not look scared, Maria looked almost as scary as Spain when anyone tried to touch Romano in anyway.

Suddenly they both hear loud footsteps The dark aura that had appeared on Maria instantly vanished as she looked over to the opened door to see Nene appear in some lime green pajamas her long hair messy and sticking out in odd places as she sat down on the table slowly picking up her hash brown and munching on it slowly like a zombie.

"Is she always like that?" He asked

Maria smiled "Only in the morning."

Nene looked across the table and noticed Prussia for the first time and almost chocked on her hash brown. She quickly grabbed a cup of orange juice before looking at Maria.

What the hell is the Gilbert doing in or house and more importantly in the universe?"

"Well remember yesterday History quiz, well he was the prize along with some more Hetalia units."

"Wait you mean they exist?" Nene blinked

"Yup"

"So wait does that mean we are going to get Russia and America too." Nene asked

"That's a possibility," Maria replied.

Nene suddenly jumped up as she grabbed her food. "I'm going to eat my food upstairs ok."

Maria smiled as she and Prussia looked at the excited teen go upstairs.

"Wait for it…" Maria said as she sipped some of her coffee

"Wait for wha-"

A loud squeal was heard throughout the house. Leaving Maria smiling like a dork, While Prussia just wondered what he just got himself into.

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><p>Yeah that's the first chapter sorry for any misspellings or Prussia being a bit OCC. I'd like to get a few pointers on this as well as some reviews.<p> 


	2. Chickens, cows, and groceries

Yay! I got some reviews thank you DaughterofDemeter123 and NiteDream for reviewing especially DaughterofDemeter123 since she pointed out how much Prussia needed to be more awesome.

I forgot to mention this on the first chapter but it has to be done. I do not owe Hetalia, If I did Prussia would get more screen time, Spain and Romano would be shown with a lot of fluff and the Bad touch trio would get drunk and storm into the meeting room to kick some ass.

Yeah, now on with the chapter.

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><p>Chapter – Prussia vs the farm<p>

"Hey you awesome bitch, help the awesome me will you." Gilbert yelled out as a 2000 pound brown and shaggy buffalo chased after him.

Maria held her stomach as she laughed so hard, she almost couldn't breathe over the sheer awesomeness on how Prussia managed to piss of a buffalo.

You are probably wondering to yourself how he got into this mess, and for that I have to explain.

_***flashback***_

"So where exactly am?" Prussia asked as he watch Maria the dishes

"What do you mean the country, city, or state?" She asked

"All of the above" He replied

"Well you're currently residing in US of A, In the small farm town known as Chino in sunny California." Maria replied

"So the Awesome me is on a farm town?"

"Yup." was her answer.

"Figures that I would land in some stupid dump, this is all your fault you unawesome person."

"Hey respect you elders jerk, I'm older that you and your going to currently live under my roof so you have to obey my rulers." Maria glared at him as she put the last of the dishes into the cupboard.

"How much?" He asked

Maria was cut off guard by that. "Um… what?"

"How much of an age difference are we?" He asked boredly

"Well apparently the manual says you're 20, I however I'm 22 Years old." Maria turned around as she put away the milk carton. "Thoug- ack!"

Maria face turned red as she felt a pair of hands groping her chest, she quickly elbowed the person (Prussia)in the stomach before looking at him angrily. "Cabrón, qué estas pensando a tocarme asi, estupido pendejo."

Prussia grumbled as he rubbed his stomach. "I don't believe you're 22 years old with a chest like that, you know what?"

Maria glared at him. "What?"

"The awesome me is now calling you Miss B-cup from now on."

Maria face turned red that she resembled what Spain would call a tomato. "w-what? You jerk it only a two year age difference and I have a name and it's Maria."

"Naw, I think I'll stick to Miss B-cup."

Maria glared at him before taking a deep breath "alright, whatever call me whatever you feel like calling me you're still following the house rules."

"Screw the rules, the awesome me only follow the awesome rules that I make."

Maria sighed as she ignored him, "Anyway since you'll be staying with us, I won't let you live here freeloading so you have two options get a job or work here on the farm."

"The Awesome me is too awesome to work."

Maria grabbed Gilbert's ear and gave it a harsh tug "Is the word awesome the only vocabulary word you have to say in every sentence."

"Du hurensohn! let go of my ear!"

Maria only frowned "Come on 'oh great awesome one', I might as well introduce the work place here."

"Scheiβe."

Maria only ignored Gilbert as he continued to curse at her in German. Maria finally let go of Gilbert as she led them outside to the huge back yard. Gilbert grumbled as he rubbed his ear but then noticed how huge the land was from behind the house. There was a huge red barn to the left, ahead of them was some sort of a fairly large chicken coop, a few chickens were clucking away as they ate the vegetation nearby.

"It's pretty big..."

"that's an understatement." Prussia replied

"Well when I bought this house eight years ago it was a huge dump, most of the yard was covered in weeds, the barn house had a huge whole on the roof along with it being infested with termites. However I got this place running in about a month with some help."

"By who? Your parents?"

Maria eyes dulled when he asked that. "No, My parents were actually against me from living here, only reason I was able to live here was because my elder brother decided that he and I should live together."

"Your elder brother huh, so what's his name."

"Judas Hidalgo Juarez." She said softly.

"So why haven't I seen him?"

Maria suddenly rubbed her eyes before giving Prussia a warm smile. "You know what, I haven't shown you the chicken coop how about I show you what you're going to be doing."

She grabbed his hand again as she pulled further into the yard. Gilbert was surprised by the sudden change of mood; He frowned as he was dragged across the green field over to a yellow hen house. The two walked inside where a few chickens walked around. "This is the chicken coop, the hens usually lay their eggs here, but check underneath the floor because sometime they tend to roll away from the nest. If one of the chickens refuse to leave her nest, leave it alone it means she trying to hatch her eggs."

They looked down to see a dozen baby chicks start chirping in happiness as Maria grabbed a cup full of chicken feed and placed it in a small bin where they all started running towards it.

Prussia couldn't help but to smile "Hey the little guys are kinda cute."

Maria frowned "What do you mean kinda, they are cute. It my personal army of Gilbirds."

Gilbird who had been sitting on Prussia head the whole time jumped off his master head and headed towards the free food, where the other little chicks stared at him for a moment before cuddling him.

"Aw, look they like Gilbird"

"Of course they like Gilbird, he's as awesome as me."

As they baby chicks ate a mother hen came and started leading them back to the nest. The hen looked at Gilbird as he was still munching on chicken feed before picking him up from his tail feathers and setting him with the rest of the chicks before it nested on top of them.

Prussia blinked, "Hey! Your chicken took Gilbird."

"It probably thinks that Gilbird is part of hatchling there."

Gilbert stood in front of the chicken as he tried to reach to lift her up only to receive a peck on his hand. He winced as he pulled back. "Dumme Huhn, Give me back Gilbird!"

This repeated about a dozen time, Maria had to wonder if maybe she should check the manual, to see if stupidity was part of Gilbert's programing.

Gilbert looked at his hand as the chicken managed to make a hole on them. "Alright that's it, When I'm finished with you I'm making you into fried chicken."

He launched himself to tackle the chicken down but was taken by surprised when a huge rooster launched itself to his face making Gilbert fall.

Maria quickly grabbed the rooster before it made too much damage on Gilberts face.

Gilbert spat a few feathers that landed in his mouth as he got up. "What the heck is that thing?"

Maria gave the rooster a small pat on the head. "This Gilbert is Caramel, the rooster who Nene and I raised when he first hatched. He's very protective of all the chickens here, so I'd be careful about what you say in front of him."

"why? It's just a stupid bird."

"For one thing it understands you, since Caramel lived inside the house up until it was an adult. Also Caramel is a fighting breed, so it won't hesitate to take your eyes out."

"And you want me to feed these birds with the possibility of having my eyes gouged out?"

"Pretty much." Maria replied.

"I'm not doing it."

"Well there is something else and that's taking care of the cows, will can see them next if you want?" Maria suggested

Gilbert glared at the chicken. "First we get Gilbird."

Maria sighed "fine, here hold Caramel."

She gently handed Gilbert the rooster who immediately started struggling under his grasp, and started pecking at him. Maria gently lifted the hen from the nest and watched as Gilbird got out and jumped on her shoulder.

"Ow *peck* Scheiβe *peck* Are you do - *peck* Ow that hurt you stupid rooster."

The 22 year old put the hen back before grabbing the rooster who was trying to gorge Gilbert's eyes out. Gilbert quickly grabbed Gilbird and ran out, Maria followed soon after, she wondered if maybe Gilbert could handle the cows.

* * *

><p>Maria and Gilbert stood in front of a large wooden fence on the other side at least three large cows and one calf were grazing the field. Maria jumped the fence; Gilbert followed her as they stood in front of the calf.<p>

"Alright the only thing you have to do with these cows is make sure they have plenty of water and that they are fed, I'm not letting you milk them yet since they need to trust you in order to get near them." She gave the calf a rub on his head which made him moo happily. "This little guy is Nacho, don't ask me about the names of the other cows Nene named them and I can never pronounce their names."

"Isn't this a male cow." He asked

"Calf Gilbert and yes it is, however its very docile around people."

"Gilbert started laughing "kesesese…It's a sissy."

The white haired nation started pulling on the calf's tail, Nacho started to moo in distress trying to get whatever was pulling his tail to stop.

"Gilbert stop doing that, you're upsetting him."

"Hell no, this is fun and it will probably toughen him up." Gilbert pulled the tail again.

"No I mean it quit, picking on him."

"You're not the boss of the awesome me." He yelled

"Fine, don't say I didn't warn you." Maria started running across the field and got back to the safe side of the fence, Gilbird also followed.

"Hey how come you left, the fun is just getting started." Prussia didn't notice a huge shadow looming over him until Nacho started mooing happily. "Huh what's got you so happy, you finally realized that my awesomeness is helping you." He then noticed the huge shadow Gilbert turned around and was staring at the eyes of a brown and shaggy looking 3000 pound buffalo.

"Uh…hi?"

The Buffalo started charging at him, Gilbert did the wisest thing that anyone would do and that was run like hell."

And that's where we are now.

_***end of flashback***_

"Hey you unawesome brat, help the awesome me here!"

Maria only smiled sweetly before yelling out. "I would if I could Gilbert, but that Buffalo belongs to Nene, and only she can stop him."

"Then go get her." He yelled

"Sorry I can't" She yelled back

Gilbert jumped a few water barrels. "Can't or won't"

Maria stuck her tongue. "You decide."

"YOU SUCK!"

"Dugo!" A loud voice yelled

The buffalo immediately stop as it saw Nene near the fence with some alfalfa pellets, the hairy beast started charging towards the younger teen and stood in front of her before stopping and started eating the alfalfa pellets from her hand.

Gilbert huffed as he got himself on the safe side of the fence next to Maria, "Where the Hell did you guys get a buffalo?"

Maria smirked. "We found him in the middle of a deserted road one rainy night, Nene made me stop the car to rescue him. His name is Dugo, Nene though it was clever since it's in her native language."

"Wait I thought you were both Spanish?"

"I'm Mexican dumbass; Nene on the other hand is Pilipino."

"How is that possible, you both are related."

"Actually only half related, we're Half-siblings"

Prussia was getting confused, these weird chicks along with the animals that were trying to kill him was making him feel unawesome which was not awesome for him.

Nene looked at Maria boredly. "Hey Maria, can you give me a ride to the movies?"

"Well it depends why you need to go."

"I promise a few friends I'd go see the new Lion King Movie in 3d." Nene replied

"Are they girls?" Maria asked

"Yes" Nene said flatly

Maria smiled, "Good, because if it was a boy, I would have said no."

"Hey what about me?" Gilbert as he sat on the floor.

Maria took a good look at Gilbert, his navy blue Luftwaffe SS uniform was something that probably the locals would probably frowned upon and with his white hair and red eyes, some people might think he was some no good street punk, Which wasn't far from the truth…

"Alright Nene, we can leave as soon as we give Gilbert a change of clothes." She walked back inside the house.

Gilbert followed behind her. "What wrong with the clothes I'm wearing now?"

"One they're dirty, and two last time I check wearing that type of outfit in public would give you a bad rep and you don't really need to screw your so called awesome reputation."

Gilbert frowned for a moment, "tch…fine but you give me something awesome to wear."

"I think I have something in this closet that might fit you."

She pulled out a black t-shirt with a picture of a beer boot with the words 'Drinking beer and kicking ass since 1989.' and some black skinny jeans with some chains hanging by the sides.

"Here I believe this is awesome enough for you." She smirked

"keseseseseseseses… Awesome." He started taking off his jacket and shirt. Maria squeaked as she covered her blushing face "What the hell Prussia, go get changed in the bathroom."

"Come on you can't tell me you haven't seen another guy naked."

.

.

.

"Hey don't tell you're a virgin or something."

"…"

"kesese…This is just too funny."

Maria only turned around as she watched Nene walked by already dressed to go out. "I'll drop you off just let me grab my jacket alright." Maria ran up the stairs to her room, leaving Gilbert alone with Nene.

"Hey brat, what do you know about your older brother?"

"which one?" Nene asked

Prussia was taken by surprise. "Wait you have more than one brother?

"half-brothers actually, are you talking about Judas or Jesus?"

"The one that helped your sister get this house."

Nene looked at the wall. "Oh Judas, well it pretty sad, he and Maria were very close."

Gilbert finally put on the shirt. "So what happened to him, did he and Maria get into a huge fight or something.

"No, he died two years ago…" Nene said flatly

Gilbert looked at Nene in surprise she was able to say that so casually like as if she was ordering herself a cup of coffee.

"What did he exactly die from? He asked

"Leukemia" She answered.

"Oh and your other brother?"

Nene shrugged, "Don't know I've never met him."

"How can you have not met him"

"I was only a year old when Maria's Dad took him away, now shut up you ask too many questions." Nene said softly as she sat on the couch.

Gilbert would have yelled back, had he the mood in the room change that to the feeling of sadness, so he couldn't help but to feel a bit awkward however he didn't show it because he was too awesome for it.

Maria came back downstairs wearing a red jacket. "Alright guys lets go."

* * *

><p>Gilbert grumbled as he looked from the back of an old pick-up truck that Maria owned. Somehow, he ended up sitting outside in the back when he insulted the German Shepard that had tackled him to the ground.<p>

And this wasn't even his fault, how was he supposed to know that the crazy dog would jump him when he tried to grope Maria's butt when she had bend over to tie her shoelaces.

So Maria had banned him from sitting in the front and told him to think about what he did until she decided he was sorry. He tried listening to their conversation; however it was muffled by the sounds of the engine noise. He could only understand some of it, but decided it was best to ignore it.

Beside it gave him time to be all to his awesome (lonesome) self, He decide to pull out his journal and start writing about his awesome day.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile with the two sisters were having a bit of an argument themselves.<p>

"So are you going to be ok going out with your friends?"

Nene sighed. "yes Maria, we are just going out to see a movie."

"Alright, but remember, If I see you hanging out with anyone or talking to anyone that is of the opposite sex, I'm going to hunt them down and kill them."

"Dammit this is the reason why I don't let you meet some of my friends." Nene exclaimed.

"Well someone has to make sure your being protected." Maria cheekily replied

"So what are young going to do if i decided to go against your rules and date a guy and the knocked up." Nene asked.

Maria pressed her foot on the brakes as they stop abruptly on the road. In the back you could hear a loud thud and someone yelling and cursing in German about being lousy drive and being an unawesome person.

"When that happens I'll find that bastard make sure he suffers for knocking you up and then I plan your wedding." She started

"Oh yeah, what if after that conflict he decides he doesn't want to marry me." Nene asked again

Maria gave her a murderous smirk. "I'll make his life a living hell."

"And what if become a good husband and make sure to take care of me, will you cut him slack then."

Maria frowned, "Hell no, I'd tease him and torture the poor bastard for taking my sweet little sister from me, besides…"

Maria wrapped her arm around Nene's shoulders. "I love you too much to let you go right now."

Nene looked outside and saw the theater. "Well here's my stop." She gave Maria a peck on the cheek as she got off and raced to the front of the theater where a group of girls were waiting for her. Maria had a rather large smile, before she stuck her head outside and looked at back. "Hey Gilbert you can come into the front now."

Gilbert got out from the back and jumped into the passenger seat. "Finally, the awesome was getting tired, of being in the cold. "

"Yeah, whatever we have to go the store before we go back home, alright."

"Whatever." Prussia replied

As Maria drove, she couldn't help but to notice that Gilbert kept writing in his journal.

'I wonder what he's writing about.' She thought

Maria went through a rather large parkway as she slowly parked near a large building. She unbuckled her seatbelt and got out of the truck, Gilbert left his journal on the front seat and got out as well.

"Alright, I need to pack in as much food as we can for the next two weeks so Nene, Gilbert and I won't starve. I wonder if they have any good deals today." Maria kept muttering loudly not noticing Gilbert running into the market.

"Let's see we need lots of fruit, some flour, maybe some steak, rice and beans definitely can't forget that."

A sudden loud scream was heard in the store, Maria snapped herself from her thoughts as she realized Gilbert had run off in front of her. She quickly started running towards the noise and found Gilbert corning a poor female employee.

"So pretty frau, wanna see my five meters." Prussia asked

Maria growled as she pulled Prussia by the ear. "Damn it Gilbert control yourself." She looked at the young woman. "I deeply sorry for whatever the hell my stupid friend did. He has a narcissistic disorder and A.D.D. and tends to act like this when no one is watching him."

"No I don't" Gilbert yelled

Maria only smiled as she pulled on his ear. "He's also a persistent liar, sorry to have caused you trouble."

The woman nodded before walking away, Maria did the same while still holding Gilberts ear.

"Hey! Let go of me already."

"Hell no, the moment I take my eyes off you, you start to harass anyone with a nice rack or a cute butt." She notices a few customers staring at them, great as if things couldn't get any worst.

"Leck mich am arsen! They have something to grope unlike you Miss B-cup."

Maria growled as she grabbed a cart and flipped him inside. "Listen here you self-centered prick, You are going to keep your big mouth shut while you're inside here, and you as so much as mutter a single syllable without me asking I will gladly cut out your innards and feed them to you for dinner ."

Prussia face turned white as he sunk into the cart, that crazy B-cup brat knew how to look scary for 5'6 height and he was taller than her, also how the hell did she manage to get him in the cart in the first place.

As Prussia was left there to ponder his thoughts on the mysterious power of this crazy Mexican chick, Maria was busy filling food inside the cart putting all the food on top of Gilbert. She usually didn't get so angry with people and she should have expected that comment from Gilbert.

Maria remembered someone else saying something similar to that, however she couldn't remember at the moment. As Maria kept filling the cart with food items, she had failed to notice that Gilbert was slowly running out of room.

She soon came to her sense when they got to the alcohol aisle. She looked at the cart and nearly gawked at the stuff she had toppled onto Gilbert. She scratched the tip of her nose in embarrassment, "um, Prussia, since you actually manage to stay quiet for so long how about I buy you some beer?"

Gilbert was strangely quiet, Maria wondered if she actually hurt his feelings, "Um…Gilbert I'm sorry for yelling at you, come on talk to me will you?"

No response,

Maria moved a packet of bread and notice that Gilbert had fallen asleep inside the cart; He was hugging a bag of potatoes and drooling over a can of peas.

_'Oh god, he's so cute, never thought I would see something like this where is a camera when you need it?'_ she thought as she smiled stupidly. She grabbed a few cases of German beer and a few bottles of Tequila and set it on the bottom of the cart, after all he deserve a little reward for putting up with her.

* * *

><p>Maria blinked as she looked at a black journal inside one of the grocery bags; she got home after a few hours of just driving around the town, while Gilbert snored away next to her. She had received a text message from Nene saying she was staying over at a friend's house, Maria only texted back telling her to be careful and a simple 'I love you.' After that she got home and manage to drag Gilbert from the car and onto the couch where he was currently laying on and had started putting away groceries when she noticed it.<p>

Now here was a small temptation, _'to read or not to read'_ she thought, Maria shrugged as she set the journal next to her, however a sudden gust of wind opened the cover showing the writing on the first page.

_xx/xx/xx_

_Hey! It's the King of Awesome!_

_So I finally met my owner today and Mein gott she's an ass. She called me Kaliningrad to get me out of the box and I looked at her, damn she's was in very skimpy clothing though there wasn't much her boobs are a bit small probably a b-cup at the most, and with her short hair I almost mistaken her for a cute boy. Well the brat refused my five meters…. I mean I'm the awesome Prussia what normal person wouldn't want my awesome five meters. After all I am awesome. Anyway the bitch smacked me uncouncious for about an hour and when I woke up she made me breakfast as an apology. Now she maybe unawesome, but her cooking is almost as awesome as me. Then I met her younger sister Nene she'd pretty cute if she wasn't into Russia also she has this weird ability to make animals like her she stopped a charging Buffalo from attack me, I also got pecked by unawesome chickens who tried to take Gilbird away. I couldn't let them take him away he's awesome-_

Maria noticed that the 'e' in the word was off as the ink line had left the page, she turned the next page.

_Scheiβe! That B-cup brat pressed the brakes on this stupid truck, ow… that hurt my awesome head__... Yeah I don't know how the awesome me is going to manage here in this farm but I'm sure I can survive awesomely. Right now, I'm sitting next to her as we are heading to the store to buy food, hope she remembers to get me beer._

_Sincerely, The King of Awesome Prussia._

Alright that hurt to read, Maria rubbed her head as she set Gilbert's Journal on the counter and put the rest of the groceries in the fridge. She then went into the living room and cover Gilbert in a blue blanket decorated with baby chicks and turned off the lights. Maybe tomorrow would be a better day.

* * *

><p>*poke*<p>

*poke*

Maria groaned she turned covered her head with her blanket, It was too early to wake up, she just need five more minutes.

*poke*

That poking was getting really annoying, she opened her eyes to see a pair of red ones staring back at her. Maria yawned, "What do you want?" She asked Gilbert.

"Well not to alarm you, but your unawesome dog is attacking someone."

Maria groaned as she tore the covers away from her and grabbed herself a pair of pants. "Why the hell didn't you stop him."

"And get mauled by him myself, Hell no." Gilbert huffed

Maria frowned as she quickly got down stairs passing the huge mess in the kitchen, she'll deal with that later, as she open the front door and brought two fingers into her mouth and gave out a loud whistle.

"Shadow, back down!" She yelled

The brown haired German Shepard quickly stopped barking at the tree where our favorite delivery guy was currently holding onto.

Maria smiled as she crossed her arms. "Hey Carl, whatcha doing? Hang out."

"ha…ha… very funny you should keep that dog on leash or something."

"Naw, I think you just need to learn to not come into the yard, when you know you are going to get mauled by cute dog."

"Whatever, I'm here to deliver another unit."

Maria blinked. "You said I'd get another one in two days, it's only been one."

"Yeah, however we got this one today and company policy states we got to bring it to you when it gets here." Carl replied

Maria sighed "Fine just hand me that signature board." Carl gave it to her as she signed the damn thing before she handed him back to him while he place the large wooden box in the living room, before handing her the manual.

"You're going to need to be a little careful with this one, see ya later." He then got onto his flying mint bunny car van and left.

Maria blinked as she saw Prussia looking over her shoulder. "So who'd we get?" Maria shrugged as she open the envelope and turned white, while Gilbert started laughing in happiness as they both looked at the bold words on the manual.

**FRANCIS BONNEFOIS: User Guide and Manual**

FML…

* * *

><p>Yeah there's chapter 2, took me a while to figure out how to write Prussia here, I love him so much, but really he's a hardass when it comes to writing him.<p>

Word translation

German

Dumme Huhn – Stupid chicken

Leck mich am arsen –kiss my ass

Scheiβe – Shit

Frau- Woman

Spanish Words

"Cabrón,qué estabas pensando a tocarme asi, estupido pendejo."


	3. The French have Arrived

Alright here's chapter three, and I thank all my wonderful viewers and reviews for this.

The manual fic was inspired by Lollidictator so go check her out, Also Hetalia doesn't not belong to me and anything else mention in this story does not belong to me either, Only thing I own is Maria and Nene and my vast pile of imagination.

A/N: Also to the people who want their OC featured here, I have given it some thought, however right now I will not accept any ones OC's. I want this story to progress before adding more characters, I had another story I wrote which had over 50 OC that I completely destroyed it when I realized I strayed from the original characters. So until the story progress a bit I will have to say no…

So enjoy…

* * *

><p>Chapter 3 – The French have arrived<p>

Prussia smirked as he grabbed the manual out of Maria's hands and started looking through it. "Finally the Awesome me is going to have some awesome company, I was starting to get bored because of you."

Maria snatched the manual back from Gilbert as she started reading. "At least we got a unit I can have a reasonable conversation without having to have to result in something stupid."

"What the hell does that mean?"

The bronze skinned woman turned to him. "It means I can now speak to someone who won't say the word awesome every five seconds or me wanting to strangle a certain person who ruined my perfectly clean kitchen which by the way is a complete mess. Care to explain?"

Prussia looked at her with a bored expression. "I thought to make myself an awesome breakfast, which by the way was awesome and decide to leave all the cleaning to you."

"did you bother making us breakfast." She asked

"the awesome me doesn't share."

"I knew it." She muttered

Maria went to the fridge and dug underneath the Brussels sprouts pulling out a can of beer, opening it before taking a huge chug. Prussia looked at her in surprise,

"What?" She asked annoyed

"You drink?" He asked

"Damn straight, I tend to make a rule out of it to not drink on the weekdays or even in the mornings, however when something annoys me to the point of wanting to slam myself against the wall, I tend to break that rule."

She took another chug out of it as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, as she looked at the manual in hand. "Now let's see what this Francis unit is all about?" She sat against the counter as she started reading the manual as Prussia rummaged through the fridge, Maria stop her reading, "May I help you, my awesome freeloader."

"Where are you hiding the beer?" He asked

Maria got off the counter as she pushed Prussia away from the fridge pulling out one of the cans of German beer she bought yesterday. "Here, if you knew the location of the beer, I know I'm going to have to make more trips to the store."

Prussia snatched the beer from her, as he started drinking. "At least you were awesome enough to get German beer."

Maria ignored him as she continued to read the manual. "Hmmm… things France can be…Chef? Well that's obvious, stripper? Hell no if he strips in fronts of Nene he's going to wear a freaken chastity belt permanently in this house. Marriage therapist? Le amore will get much more complicated if he's supposed to deal with couples…Teacher of what? Getting laid…"

She walked back to the living room as she grabbed the smaller box from on top of the crate and opened it to reveal France's stuff; she quickly dug thorough pulling out a book.

"Hmm… 'How to stop the French from invading your bed.' Aw! Shit, I know I'm going to have to make sure the doors are locked in this house. Nene's going to hate that." Maria set the book on the coffee table as she read the ways to get out. "Let's see number one looks really easy, number two mea….

"Kesesesese… you said number two."

"Real mature Prussia, anyways using method two is a no go since my kitchen is a complete mess thanks to a certain beer guzzling Prussian" She glared at him.

"you're welcome."

"Only French song I have is Songu from Eurovision, however I don't know if it French or not." Maria looked at the last one which dealt with playing a porno…

Maria smirked, "Method number four it is."

Prussia almost spat his beer, "You think you're fast enough to dodge him if he tries to rape you."

The Mexican woman smirked at her as she brought her laptop in the living room. "Prussia let me ask you this if I blind folded you and played a porno on full blast would you get aroused?"

Gilbert blushed as he turned away. "What kind of question is that to ask?"

Maria only smiled at him, "come on Gilbert would you?"

Gilbert looked at her shyly. "Maybe."

"So the same goes for France right now in the box, he only needs to hear the sounds of a porno in order to get out."

Maria typed in 'Hetalia Counting Erotic Sheep 2/8: Germany and Prussia.'As it started playing moans and grunts of Prussia and Germany were playing in Japanese.

Gilbert's face turned red. "What kind of shit are you playing?"

Maria smirked evilly. "Let just say a little Germancest…"

"honhonhonhon!"

The box exploded as a large naked figure dashed across the living room and pressed his hands on the laptop. "Let's see what La Prusse and Allemagne have been up to." He drooled

Maria watched as the personification of France looked at her computer in disappointment, really the only porn she actually had was some Spamano doujinshi and a few pictures of GerIta in a hidden folder inside her documents. However she wasn't going to reveal that anytime soon.

France then noticed the atmosphere around him. "Where am I?" He asked

A dark colored fabric hit him across the face as Maria blushed, "you're at my house and please cover yourself."

"So cruel, can't I enjoy the freedom of finally being free from the accursed box prison, surely you can understand.

France wrapped the fabric (a towel apparently) around his waist as he then grabbed Maria's hand "Bonjour mademoiselle, I am the personification of France also known as Francis Bonnefois, may I have the privilege to know your beautiful name." He gave a gentle kiss on the back of her hand.

Prussia snorted in the background, "Beautiful my ass." He push away from France, "Hey Franny, long time no see."

Francis face lit up. "Ah! Mon Ami it's good to see you are alright." They gave each other the man hug. As they then started chatting among each other.

"So Gilbert how long have you been here?" He asked

"about a day, and its already hell and it's all because of her." He pointed at Maria.

France looked at Maria then to Prussia. "Really Gilbert, One woman can't completely make your life miserable."

"oh yeah, what about Hungary?" He declared

"except her." France exclaimed

"and Belarus." He asked

"and her."

"and what about England." Prussia took another gulp of beer.

.

.

.

France blinked, "he's not a woman?"

Prussia laughed, "He PMS's like one."

France nodded, "Oui, that's true."

Meanwhile as the two were in the their deep conversation, Maria had gone inside the kitchen and started scrubbing all the dirty dishes that Gilbert left in his way to make his so called awesome breakfast. She had to wonder what she had gotten herself into and thought what Nene was up to at the moment.

***Meanwhile with Nene***

Nene was currently sitting on her desk as she barely paid in class, with one ear plugged to her headphone listing to 'If I had you.' By Adam lambert while looking as if she was reading the dictionary, however it was only a cover so she can read her RusAme doujinshi. While paying no attention to the teacher who was currently yelling at the students, because of their lack of reading and studying.

"Class, I am very disappointed in almost all of you, Most of you have a C average grade in the class. Why can't some of you read the dictionary like Nene over there?" She pointed at the pre-teen Filipino girl.

Nene only chuckled evilly, some of the students inched away from her. Even if she had the highest grade in the class she was freaken scary as hell.

***Back to Maria***

Maria sat on the table as she sipped into some coffee while trying to crunch in the numbers to her budget to see how much it would cost having two extra mouths to feed. She had already finished cleaning the kitchen and ate breakfast while Prussia and France were in the other room. She had left some extra food for Francis and also Prussia; even if he said he already ate.

She sighed when she looked at the number figure on her excel chart rise. Apparently with Francis in the picture, she needed to buy him some clothes, He was much taller than her so none of her clothes would fit him, and at least Prussia was easy enough to find clothes.

She looked at the foods budget and groaned, also with Francis expensive taste in food and culinary skills it was really going to take a chunk of money, she would have to subtract some money from the entertainment budget.

Maria rubbed her head, "I wonder if somewhere in my past life I did something so horrible to get myself into this situation."

She then felt something grab her hair; giving into her natural reflexes she quickly threw her elbow back.

"Ow! Mon dieu, I think you just broke my nose."

Maria turned around to see France holding his nose as Gilbert only laughed at his best friend's misery. Maria quickly got up from her chair. "Oh crap! I'm sorry it was a reflex. I'm not use to having people sneak behind me."

She lead Francis to her chair and made him sit on it. "Alright let me see how it."

"Ow, it hurts so much... Look is it bleeding? I feel like it is bleeding?" He exclaimed

"um… I can't tell, your hands are in the way, maybe if you just remove them I can see." Maria tried to touch his face

"No! Don't touch it." He wailed

Maria stuttered, "but I…"

Meanwhile Prussia was just chuckling as he sat at the table while eating the food that was there, It was hilarious really, Francis wasn't really hurt but he had convince him to tease the b-cup brat to see her reaction.

Maria frowned as Francis refused to let her help; she grabbed his hands as she forced them away from his face to see what damage she made.

His face was alright maybe a bit red but then again he wasn't bleeding so that was a good thing.

"Francis there is nothing wrong with your nose, maybe a bit red but other than that you're oka…"

It was then she realized she was straddling him while his hands were currently groping her butt.

"Honhonhonhon, now Ma Cherie… It's nice you care so much for big brother France." He gave a predatory smirk "Now let me thank you by showing you the wonders of womanhood."

Francis was then met with punch to the face as Maria growled at him. "Estupido bastardo."

"Kesesesesesese!"

Maria stared at Gilbert who was banging his fist on the table as he laughed, Maria almost wanted to throw her coffee at his smug face but that would truly be a waste of perfectly good coffee and she would have to clean the kitchen again.

Prussia looked at her as he grabbed her cup of coffee and started drinking it. "Hey B-cup, where is the unawesome brat?"

Maria gritted her teeth. "She's at school, Gilbert you know the place you go to learn, it sort of like prison only with less privileges and terrible food."

"Did you come up with that?"

"Naw… I have a buddy in college I talk to on Tuesday and Thursdays after class we have random conversations."

France looked over to the two of them as he quickly recovered from Maria's punch. "Ah… young love."

Maria raised an eyebrow. "Dude, I don't date. I have no time for love right now it's just work, school, and Nene."

"Nene?" He asked

"my sister." She replied

"oh,"

.

.

.

"Is she cute." France asked

The next thing France saw was he was on the ground with a spatula shape mark on the side of his face.

"Touch my sister in any shape or form and you'll be finding yourself outside." She yelled

"How cruel you are to big brother France." He took out a pink handkerchief and bit it dramatically.

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah just keep telling yourself that, estupida rana"

"Still you should be a little friendlier miss… actually I don't think you ever told me your name?"

Maria gave him a smirk. "Mon nom est Maria Hidalgo Guerrero."

Francis face lit up, "ah you speak French."

"My mother is one fourth French, I only got interested in my French culture when I was going through my family tree in junior high, and took basic French in high school, though I don't remember much of it all I remember of the French language is saying hello, goodbye, and a few French curse words."

"That's a shame I would love to teach you."

Maria rolled her eyes. "Maybe later."

Maria stared at Prussia as he was rubbing Gilbird's head softly. She smirked. "Hey Prussia go feed the chickens will you."

Prussia glared at her as he shook his head. "Hell no, they tried to kill me yesterday, plus the awesome me said that I wasn't doing it."

"Then you wanna try the cows again"

Gilbert shivered, France looked at him. "What's wrong with you, mon ami"

Gilbert looked at Francis. "Nothing."

Gilbert stared at Gilbird when a thought struck him. "Hey since Franny is here, where is he going to sleep?"

Maria blinked that was something she had forgotten to think about, "Well he can't sleep in my room and I definitely won't let him sleep in Nene's room. Guess he's going to sleep on the couch."

"Hey wait a second? This house is two stories; there should be more than two rooms."

Maria took a bite from an apple. "There are, they're the two doors that are between the bathroom in the bottom floor. The room on the left is the art room, it's filled with old canvases and paint cans, I haven't gone in there in a while."

"Why not?" Francis asked

"I usually swamped with cooking, cleaning and school to do any painting in there."

"Then what about the other room, you can probably empty it, it probably your storage room or something." Gilbert said lazily

Maria banged her hand on the table. "That room hasn't been opened in two years and I'm not going to let anyone else go in there!"

Gilber t growled, "Why not? If no one is using it you might as well let one of use it."

"My answer is no." She yelled

"Why the hell not!" He yelled back

"IT'S JUDAS'S ROOM!" She screamed

The entire kitchen went silent, Gilbert realized he just hit a sore subject for Maria, She only turned away from them. "I'll try to clear the art room, it might take some time but I think I can clean it by tonight."

Maria got up as she headed out the back door, "I'm going to go and feed the cows, Gilbert go do your job and feed the chickens alright."

She walked out leaving the two men alone.

"who is the Judas?" Francis asked as he brushed his hair out of his face.

"He's was her brother?" Gilbert replied

"was?"

"He's dead, from what Nene told me. He was very important to Maria, that's as much as I know."

"Oh… that's terribly sad, perhaps a home cook French meal will probably cheer her up."

"Yeah whatever I better go feed those possessed poultry with demon claws before Ms. B-cup decides to kick the awesome me outside."

"Good Luck, mon ami" France yelled out as he started rummaging through the fridge.

* * *

><p>Gilbert stormed out the back door; Shadow who was sleeping on a bundle of hay opened his eyes as he watched the white haired man walked across the yard. The German Shepard got up and started walking towards him.<p>

Prussia noticed the dog next to him, as he was halfway across the field. "Hey how come you're following me?"

Shadow looked at the white haired man as he just gave out a bark as he ran to the chicken coop and turned to Gilbert and gave out a happy bark.

"Guess you want to watch me get torture." Shadow only wagged his tail and watched as Gilbert grabbed a bucket of chicken feed. "Well the awesome me isn't going to be beaten by a piece of poultry."

Gilbert open the metal gate as the chickens clucked away as he dumped the food into their containers, the hens quickly surrounded it as they ate..

"Kesesesese…Hungry little bastards aren't you."

Gilbert passed the hens as he went inside the red chicken coop as he grabbed a basket on the side of the door and started grabbing the eggs that laid on the nest. He remembered to look under the floor to see a few eggs laying there as he quickly picked them up.

He looked around, "Wonder where that unawesome rooster is? Ha! I bet he was too scared to fight against the awesome me."

He then turned around to go outside when he notice the so called unawesome rooster glaring at him. Prussia took a step forward. "So chicken, ready for round two."

Caramel's feathers ruffled as he ran towards gilbert and started to peck at his shoes. "Kesesesesesese! Stupid bird." Prussia whistled loudly as he gave the Rooster a small kick to drive him away from pecking at his shoes as he started walking towards the gate before getting out and closing it.

"Ha take that! The awesome me -1 and the stupid chicken - 0. Kesesesese!"

It was then that he heard a rather large squawking as he turned around and saw a large shadow jumped out to face. Prussia immediately fell on the floor as Caramel started pecking at his face.

"Ow… *peck* shit *peck* stupid son of b- *peck* Hey dog help the awesome *peck* me will you?" *peck*

Shadow only stared as Gilbert continued to roll away from Caramel's assault. The dog wasn't interested in helping him instead he walked over to the basket of eggs that had landed safely on the ground and took the handed of it by his mouth as he walked away leaving Prussia in the mercy of the angry rooster.

* * *

><p>"Um…Maria do you hear screaming by any chance?"<p>

Maria looked from her drawing pad; she had quickly fed the cows and was currently catching up on some of her homework for her art class. She stopped as she heard the faint sounds of someone screaming for help. "It must be your imagination because I don't hear anything." She lied

"But I could swear…"

There was some faint scratching at the back door. France blinked in surprised as he walked to the closed door and open it to reveal Shadow carrying a basket of eggs.

Shadow looked at the blonde Frenchmen as he walked passed him and walked towards his master as he put the basket on the floor, and barked to get her attention.

Maria looked down and smiled at her faithful companion. "Good job, Shadow." She patted his head. Shadow then ran outside quickly disappearing.

Francis had blinked in surprise, "did you train that dog to do that?"

"No, actually it was Nene, It was during the time we first got him. Don't know how she didit however he's very helpful when it comes to fetching stuff."

Suddenly the back door burst open as Prussia came into the kitchen covered in a dark mud like substance and a few chicken feathers, Prussia grumbled and glared at Maria couldn't help but to laugh.

"Dude, what the hell happened to you?" She asked

"Your unawesome rooster happen, that thing attacked me and I almost choke the damn thing and I would have, if that stupid dog hadn't pulled my pants and made me fall into the mud which by the way stinks!" He took a whiff of himself before pulling away. "What's in there anyway?"

Maria covered her nose. "I think you may have landed in the pile of cow manure."

Prussia only muttered a few curse words under his breath as he stormed out of the kitchen leaving a trail of muddy footprints on the floor and onto the living room before shutting himself into the bathroom.

Maria blinked in surprise, before sighing. "I'll get a mop."

France couldn't help but to chuckle "Oui."

* * *

><p>That's all for now, I'll try to post the next chapter a week from today if I can with college and also sorry for any misspellings as well. A review would be nice too… and some feedback.<p> 


	4. Art and Theater

A/N: Sorry that this chapter is so late however I had a bit of writer's block but I defeated it, now enough about me.

I will never own Hetalia, I can only wish however I know if I owned it, it would have a lot of smut of various pairing and a shitload of Spamano and GerIta.

Only thing I own is the story line and the OC characters, Hetalia user manual's belong to Lollidictator.

* * *

><p>Chapter 4 - Art and Theater<p>

Nene sighed as the bus dropped her in front of her house, She was in a somewhat bad mood, During lunch some dork had grabbed her RusAme doujinshi when she was getting to the best part, luckily it wasn't one of the 18+. So she wouldn't get in trouble. However the dork had the balls to 'accidentally' dump it in a mud puddle.

Nene made sure he paid for it in blood…

And she also got detention for a month; she easily had slipped out of suspension because of her grades and making the guy confess that he started the whole thing.

If there is one rule between all anime lovers and manga readers it was this.

…Never mess with a fan-girl's Doujinshi…

Still it didn't make things better, her doujinshi was still ruined and Maria was probably going to kill her unless she gave her the kicked puppy eyed look it always seem to work on Maria.

"I'm home" Nene yelled as she kicked open the front door and threw her bag at the couch.

"Ow! Shit watch it brat you made me spill my awesome beer."

Nene blinked as she stared at Gilbert who was lying on the couch in his boxer shorts, Gilbird was lying on top of his head boredly as they both watched Jerry Springer. The loud chants of Jerry were blaring throughout the room.

"Why are you in your underwear?" She asked

"Because your unawesome sister is doing the laundry and Francis is helping her."

Nene blinked, "when did we get France?"

"This morning, when you were at school." He replied

"Aw, when the hell is that company going to send America or even Russia over?" She kicked over a random box.

"Why do you want that unawesome fatass and the commie bastard here anyway?" He asked

Nene sat on the couch next to him. "None of your business."

"Stupid brat." He muttered

She glared at him. "Lazy Prussian."

"Luder" He replied

"Salsalero" she smirked

" What?"

"Hey Nene, welcome home." Maria yelled out.

Gilbert and Nene looked at Maria and gawked, she was wearing some black formal pants along with a silk white shirt, and a red tie. She held a few articles of clothing in her arms as she dropped them on Gilbert.

"Here are some more clothes I found." Prussia only growled as he drop the heap of clothing on the floor. "Why is the unawesome you dressed like that?"

"Theater class."

"What?"

"I have theater class tonight and my teacher is holding out auditions for the lead role." Maria replied

"what's the play called?" Nene Asked

Maria turned her head away embarrassingly. "Duke Venomania's Madness."

.

.

.

"Is it a vocaloid song?" Nene asked

Maria nodded, "Yeah, my teacher been surfing the internet and ever since someone told him about vocaloid, he's been trying to make play versions of many vocaloid songs."

"so your trying out for the main role." Nene said flatly

"yup…"

Nene thought for a moment. "Isn't that a male role?"

"yeah…"

"Kesesesese…"

Maria folded her arms, "Hey I didn't even want to do it, but he told me if I don't do this, he is going to make me do a 50 page essay on Macbeth, I'd rather swallow my pride and do a little acting instead of writing."

"are you the only female trying out for the main role?" Prussia asked

.

.

.

Maria only turned away. "Shut up Prussia."

Prussia only continued to laugh as he started watching the television before cheering, "Yeah! You go Jerry! You're awesome, not as awesome as the awesome me but you're there."

Maria face palmed, as she felt someone snaked his arm around her waist, she quickly elbowed France in the gut.

"Ow! Mon chéri, that hurt."

"Then stop trying to hold me and don't call me darling." Maria yelled.

France sulked in the corner of the room (The Emo corner) as Maria noticed that Gilbert had a 6-pack of Guinness Black Lager. Maria swiped the beer away before Gilbert could take another drink.

"HEY!" Gilbert yelled

"Where the hell did you find this?" She asked

"Under the tomatoes." He muttered

Maria growled, "I told you to not drink them, If I have to go the store again, I'll have you cleaning out the fridge with your face."

"The awesome me, doesn't work for free." Gilbert said without even so much as looking at her only looking at the television

She took the rest of the beer. "Then the awesome you, doesn't get any beer."

"Unawesome flat chested brat."

"Stupid beer drinking Pervert"

France lifted his head. "Now… now you don't have to fight over Nii-san's affection there is plenty to share."

"No one was arguing about you France." They both said in union

France continued on sulking

The two continued to argue with each other over the concept of beer and awesomeness. Nene had to wonder if this is how everything had been before she came home.

Probably a yes if she knew her sister better.

Nene looked over to Maria as she waved her hands in the air. "Maria!"

"What?" she asked

"You're forgetting something?" Nene said flatly

"Um… no I think I remember everything, oh yeah I forgot to introduce you to France."

Maria grabbed France from the Emo corner and dragged him towards Nene who took a step back. "Francis this is my baby sister Nene, Nene meet Frenchy."

Francis immediately recovered as he stood upright and grabbed Nene hand. "Bounjour mademoiselle, I your new big brother France." He gave a small wink. "Or we could be more."

His face immediately met the floor as Maria growled and pressed her foot on the back of his head. "What did I tell you about hitting on my sister?"

Whatever Francis was saying it was muffled because of his month pressed against the floor.

Nene only shook her head as she crossed her arms, "I was actually going to say that since you're going to go to class, who is going to take care of these two dumbasses?"

.

.

.

"Crap."

Maria lifted her foot from France as she paced around the room. "I forgot I usually leave you at home, but with these two here I can't guarantee for my house to be intact and for you to actually not kill them."

"Oh I won't kill them, unless they go into my room and grab my doujinshi…" Nene pulled out a pink slip, "I got a month's detention for beating the crap out of this bastard."

Maria grabbed the flimsy paper and looked at it, "and what the hell did he do that was so bad to beat the shit out of him?"

Nene scowled, "He grabbed my precious doujinshi and ruined it, and then decided to talk smack about me."

Suddenly Nene started laughing manically "He deserved every single amount of pain I inflicted on him."

Meanwhile France and Prussia just started at the little one, they wondered if she wasn't mentally insane or just sugar high. Maria only sighed as she watched her dearly loved sister laugh evilly before turning over to the two units and crossed her arms.

"Don't mind her she's just a bit hyper from eating chocolate I bet, Anyways Nene does bring out a good point I can't leave you two together knowing full well on how you two act. So I guess one of you is coming with me, while the other is going to help Nene clean the art room."

"Who the Fuck said I was cleaning?" Nene asked

Maria smirked, "consider it your punishment for getting detention."

"By the way the doujinshi the guy ruined was the same one you bought me on my birthday last year." Nene added

Maria pouted, "Aw…that was the only rated T doujinshi you had, no all you have left is all the rated 18+."

France and Prussia blinked in surprised.

"You let the brat read adult stuff." Prussia asked. "Is that even allowed?"

"Who are you calling a brat, you stupid drunk…"

"Kesesesese, like the awesome me could get completely drunk, I only get buzzed."

Nene turned away "buzzed, my ass."

Before Prussia could spew out more awesome comments, He was suddenly pulled back and was currently being dragged out the door, "Alright Nene I'm taking Prussia. I think well that you can take care of yourself against France?"

"If he does something can I use your sledgehammer?" Nene asked

"Sure, and Nene try to make sure he doesn't get my stash?"

Nene blinked at her, "which one the porn stash you have under your bed or the endless amount of hentai pictures on the hidden file of the computer?"

Maria seat dropped. "Err…actually I just meant stash of beer I have hidden in the house."

.

.

.

"Oh"

"Yeah awkward." Maria blushed

Maria rubbed the back of her head nervously before grabbing her jacket and gave Nene a small peck on the forehead. "Alright brat, be good while I'm gone and if France does anything stupid you have permission to beat his ass alright?"

Nene nodded, "yeah I heard, good luck with Gilbert."

The elder sibling just gave a small wave as she dragged a half-naked Prussian out the door.

* * *

><p>The car ride was really short. After all she lived only two blocks and a corn field away from the huge college in front of her, she only had trouble finding a place to park the truck. During this time she spent yelling at Gilbert who had manage to put some decent clothes on during the ride (without getting pulled over by the cops) trying to pull his pants down to start mooing at random students. Maria fixed that by suddenly speeding up the truck past 40 mph and then abruptly stopping at a stop sign which made Gilbert face meet the windshield.<p>

Even though there was now some Prussian drool on it, it was worth it…

Maria quickly got off her truck and grabbed Gilbert's wrist and started running towards a large building.

"Hey slow the hell down." Gilbert yelled

Maria shook her head as she looked at her watch, "No time, if we don't get our butts there in 30 seconds, the theater door are going to close."

"So…wouldn't that be an awesome thing for you."

"To be frank, yes. However I like to make a good entrance sometimes." Gilbert watched as he let go of her hand and saw her kick the double doors of the large theater.

"THIS IS SPARTA!" She yelled out randomly causing a few students to stare at her in confusion.

Gilbert burst out laughing, this was the first time he saw her act like this, so far she's has been uptight like as if she were the love child Austria and Switzerland with a dash of a certain Spaniard swagger.

A rather tall old blonde started at her as he gave out a small cough.

Um…Ms. Guerrero, may I ask who this lovely young man you are dragging is?

Maria gave out a small smile as she mad a certain hand gesture of presenting someone. "Gilbert Beilschmidt. He's a foreign exchange student from Germany that is currently staying at my house. He was wondering how the American college system works, so I decided to show him the around campus and what better way to show him the classroom experience than showing him the wonderful form of acting that you present us."

Gilbert almost wanted to gag, alright what was with the sudden mood change with her. He frowned as he heard Gilbird give an unsatisfied chirp at the Hispanic girl's behavior.

Mr. Haas gave out a large smile. "Ah! Very well, Mr. Beilschmidt will you kindly take a seat in one of the chairs near the stage, I have a few students acting as the audience for this play."

Gilbert just shrugged as he passed Mr. Haas without saying a word.

Mr. Haas looked at Gilbert retreating form before turning back to Maria, "ready to try out for the part Maria?"

Maria laughed as she gave him a small salute. "Ready whenever you are."

"Excellent go backstage for a few touchups."

"Yes

* * *

><p>Nene looked over at France as she pulled out the key from her pocket and opened the beige colored door and walked inside with France behind her. France was surprised as he looked around the room.<p>

The room was a little stuffy as he noticed all the dust covering a large desk with a few bottles of paint on them. The wall were splattered with shades of green, blue, red and other colors that seemed as though the person who did it just grabbed a large bucket and went nuts.

Nene pulled out a few cardboard boxes from the nearby closet in the room and handed them to France. "Here you can start by putting all those canvases in here.'' She pointed at the stack of canvases that were covered in a white sheet.

France only nodded as he pulled the sheet away while Nene opened the window to the room. When light poured into the room Francis was able to see the artwork on the painting.

"These painting are rather stunning for an amateur."

"Yeah a few of those where painted by Maria when she first moved here, She use to draw almost all the time when I was younger."

"I see." Francis muttered

There were many pictures of landscapes and houses, along with various anime characters from different shows. France placed each canvas in a box, before noticing Nene looking over a rather large sketchbook.

"What are you looking at Mon petite Nene?"

Nene didn't answer, she was just kept staring at the page. Francis sighed as he walked closer to her and blinked at what she was looking at.

The drawing consisted of a tall teen with green hair swinging a younger version of Nene on a swing, while in the back showed a Maria with rather long hair laying against a tree watching them sadly. Francis noticed that behind the tree hid a small figure.

"That's a very good drawing…"

"Yeah, It was one that Judas drew, he always liked using real models to pose for him sometimes if he was in an inspirational mod he could draw them by memory." Nene replied softly

"Do you miss him?" He asked

"Who?"

"Your brother?"

Nene looked over to Francis and back to the picture before closing it. "Honestly I don't even know myself…I sometimes can't remember."

"Oh…so who was that figure behind Maria?"

"It was supposedly Jesus, Judas told me that the drawing represented of an incomplete family. Since Maria is a twin, she always felt incomplete without him, So Judas tried to add him in many of his art."

"I see…"

Suddenly a rather large growl was heard thought the room, Nene blushed as she covered her stomach, "Guess I'm a little hungry."

France chuckled, "I can hear it, Alright we'll clean this up tomorrow, for now let Big brother France cook something up."

Nene nodded, "alright, make something with a lot of meat, I like meat."

"But of course."

* * *

><p><strong>Gilbert' Pov<strong>

I swear all this theater stuff is so unawesome, I watch a few of these students read the script. Some were completely decently awesome, some were unawesome, and those who were really unawesome he threw peanuts at, that crazy teacher though encourage me to do it, He said something about the audience is always right and that if I felt like someone sucked I should keep throwing stuff. Which ended having the awesome me with a butt load of snacks right next to me.

So Awesome…

"Alright, will actor number seven come into the stage?" I heard Mr. Haas yell

I noticed that it was Ms. B-cup coming out of the curtains, though her hair was somehow dyed in purple and I noticed she wasn't holding a script? The heck? Did she memorized it, I watched as some random girl, some junior come out next to her, apparently she was playing as a woman who about to be entranced by the so called Duke. I smirked as I got my hand ready with some Cheetos to throw at her. This was going to be so awesome.

**Maria Pov (three minutes before going out on stage)**

"Oh god I hate this why the hell did I agree to this?" I said to myself as I waved my hair back and forth that had been dyed purple for the occasion, I saw the other student ignore me. After all, they sort of knew how I acted in school.

I just need to calm down and figure out how I'm going to do this, I manage to memorize some of the lines in the script, however I could hear Mr. Haas yelling at a few student proclaim to suck and hearing Gilbert laughing and occasionally throwing peanuts at them.

I am so going to give the jerk a beating after this. Alright I just have to be seductive…um think Maria think what anime characters are seductive to make even the oldest woman swoon.

The image of Tamaki for Ouran Host Club came to my mind, however I scrapped the idea, he can charm but not the charm I needed.

I hit my head against a wall, ok then how about Sebastian from Kuroshitsuji, the image of a sexy black butler came into my mind however the image quickly faded as I thought of one character that could easily seduce a room full of women with just a small wink. Of course, it was so obvious I started rubbing my head chanting softly. 'Think like France, act like France, be like France, come out inner-French me'

My eyes snapped opened when I heard Mr. Haas yell my number to come out on stage, I gave myself a small smile it was show time.

* * *

><p><strong>Normal Pov<strong>

Maria waltz over to the other girl as she placed her hand gently on her cheek, she gave the other girl a charming smile. "My lovely lady, you have come so far to visit please allow me this dance." She gave a small bow.

Prussia almost spat out, Maria voice went down a few vocals and it almost sounded like a guy he watched as Maria and the girl dance a small waltz around the stage, the sounds of soft piano music was heard through the theater, Prussia had to look around to see if there wasn't some prissy aristocrat playing.

Maria started picking up speed as her smile turned into a small smirk. "Now my lovely maiden, let me show you the pleasures of the flesh."

She pulled the girl closer to her body as he gave her a rather long kiss, (the other girl was blushing up a storm) before giving out a giving out a twisted smile to the audience.

"Once the clothes come off, there is no escape to reality*." Maria buried her face into the girl's neck, her lips pressing against her skin as she gave the other girl small butterfly kisses while her hand went to the back of the girl's dress trying to unzip it.

"CUT!" Mr. Haas Yelled.

Maria blinked as she realized what she was doing; crap she went to far into her inner French faze, She pushed herself away from the other student as she looked over to Mr. Haas with a red face.

"That was good Maria; I almost felt entranced by your words...How please try not to act out the scenes until opening night."

Mr. Haas turned to Gilbert. "what do you think Mr. Beilschmidt?"

Gilbert was at a loss for words and also a little tight around his pants, alright the B-cup brat may look like a guy. But after witnessing some hot girl on girl action only one word could sum it all up.

"Awesome."

* * *

><p>"Wow."<p>

"Shut it, Gilbert." Maria muttered

"I mean wow that was just…just…"

"Embarrassing, humiliating, downright the level of France Perviness."

"Actually I was going to say hot."

Maria banged her head on the wheel of the truck as she stopped in front of the house. "I don't think I can show my face there again."

"At least now I know you play for the same team…Kesesesese!"

Maria blushed as she got out, "For your information, I'm bisexual, and what I just did back there was a mistake."

"Mistake or not, your awesome teacher said you got the part."

Maria face palm, "Great I get the main role for connecting into my inner French."

"Kesesesese"

Maria smashed her backpack on Gilbert's face "Quit laughing at me."

"Ow! Bitch…"

Both Maria and Gilbert walked inside the house and both blinked at the scene before them...

The table was decorated in fancy napkins and silverware as the large bowls held some sort of stew, with plates of bread beside it in another bowl. Lightly thin cut potatoes laid next to a plate roast beef while many spoon and forks decorated it on each side, a bottle of wine was decorated with red roses and baby breath along with candles lit gently around them.

Maria wonder where the hell did France get all the fancy tableware and stuff. Gilbert had a similar reaction.

"The fuck is this?" Gilbert blurted

"Ask France?"

Maria looked to see Nene coming out of the bathroom drying her hair with a towel, "alright so where is France?"

"Right behind you, Mon Cheri."

Maria jumped as she looked at France in a white chef outfit; he pulled out one of the chairs. "Come sit you must be hungry." Maria hesitated for a moment should she trust France, for all she know he could have drugged the food.

"Hey this food is awesome Franny."

The three others watched as Gilbert started devouring Francis food like a starved man in the jungle, Maria growled, "Gilbert at least save some for the rest of us..."

Francis and Nene sweat dropped as they watch the two fight over the food, Nene only held out her hand.

"Come on Francis, Pay up."

Francis slapped a twenty dollar bill in Nene's hand as they continued to watch the seen unfold.

* * *

><p>Nene had told Maria that they weren't able to clean up the art room today so that meant that Francis had to sleep on the couch however now they were in another pickle.<p>

Maria crossed her arms, "Why can't you sleep in the same room with Francis."

"You want me to get raped." Gilbert slammed his hands on the table.

"Don't care." Maria replied

"Come on let the awesome me sleep with you tonight." He yelled

"honhonhonhon!"

Maria grabbed a nearby shoe and threw it at Francis as it collided with his face "Cállate, estúpida rana**"

Maria only looked away as Prussia continued to bug her, She just to ignore him until he got the meaning of the word no.

**20 Minutes Later**

"Come on, you flat chested brat let me bunk with you." Prussia said annoyingly as he poked her arm.

Maria gritted her teeth as she tried her hardest to not rip the book in her hands, it was getting a tad hard since Gilbert had refuse to leave her alone and proceeded to annoy her.

"Come on" He whined

"No" she repeated

"Yes" He replied back

"No…" She gritted her teeth

Prussia poked her harder, "Let the awesome me stay with you"

Maria slapped his hand away. "No"

"Yes…"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!" Maria yelled

"No…" Prussia said sadly

"Yes!" Maria screamed before covering her mouth when she realized what she said, Prussia did a fist pump, "The awesome me triumphs again."

"Go jump a ditch Prussia" Maria muttered

"Naw," He quickly started running upstairs. "I call the bed."

Maria dropped her book as she went after him. "Hell no, if you're going to be sleeping in the same room, you're going to sleep on the floor."

She managed to trip Prussia up the stairs by grabbing his leg and pulling his pants down, (not awesome) as she reached her door and opened it as she landed on her bed, She stuck her tongue out at the gasping Prussian. "My bed, jerk."

"Fine keep your unawesome bed, the awesome didn't want it anyway." He muttered

Maria smirked as she pushed some blankets into Gilbert's arms, "Just lay a blanket on the floor and go to bed Gilbert."

Prussia blinked, "Wait aren't you going to lock the door, France can get in here you know."

"Oh, I'm not worried about that, I'll be sleeping just fine."

**Meanwhile….**

"Nice pooch, come on let Big brother France get a glass of water." He cooed trying to give the large German shepherd a gentle pat on the head.

Shadow gave out a rather large growl as he tried to bite Francis hand. Francis pulled his hand back and whimpered; this crazy dog was on top the couch bed with him and refused to let him get up. Even when he showed the smallest movement the dog snarled…

Shadow only gave out a small bark as he laid his head on of the cushions, and watched Francis.

Francis grumbled he wasn't going to do any bed invading for a while…

**End of Chapter 4**

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><p>Feedback and reviews would be appreciated, though now that I see that my work schedule is getting hectic, It may take a while to post the next chapter, however I'll try to type in my spare time and post the next chapter soon.<p> 


	5. Morning Fights

A/N: Hey people I'm back with another chapter, I know this one took too long however I swamped with Project I'll try to update faster next time.

I will never own Hetalia… never can and never will… I can only dream though

Only thing I own is the story line and the OC characters Maria and Nene.

Hetalia User Manual's belong to Lollidictator.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5 - Morning fights<strong>

The sound of caramel loud crowing was what brought Maria away from dream land at 6am. This usually happened every morning, however someday she would ignore it and laze around.

However today wasn't one of those days...

It was warm...that what Maria noted as she opened her eyes, she yawned before she stiffened. Someone had her arms around her; she quickly looked at the floor to see if there was still a certain white haired albino sleeping there.

He wasn't.

Maria frowned as she turned her head to look behind her and saw Gilbert was spooning her in his sleep. He kept muttering the word awesome while having some drool at the side of his face. Normally most fan girls would probably scream in happiness and grab the nearest video camera to capture this image of the great Gilbert sleeping

However Maria only had one thought, _'Ew! He's getting drool all over the pillows.'_

It had been nearly a week since she got both units and during those days the small town was hit with a rather strange weather change. It was starting to get colder, well she wasn't surprised it was already the middle of November and also this house wasn't heat insulated.

One of the house drawbacks was as soon as it got colder the house would be a few degrees even lower. So when this happened Gilbert decided that he was going to sleep in her bed since _'the awesome me is too awesome to freeze in the cold._' As he put it and that how it came for Gilbert sleeping in her bed.

Though the first time she woke up to him, she screamed and proceeded to beat his ass off with a giant dictionary she had been using the night before and Gilbert was conked out for the rest of the day…

Maria yawned as she pinched Gilbert's nose restricting him of his air supply. She learned during the week that when Gilbert had a hold of something in his sleep it was hard to make him let go.

Gilbert snorted as he flailed his arms as he sat up and looked around with half-lid eyes, however Maria ended up rolling off the bed and landed with a thud.

"ow…"

"kesesesese."

"Shut up Gilbert. Besides you got to get up and feed the chickens."

Prussia only frowned as he got up. "I'm not letting that stupid chicken beat me this time."

Maria chuckled, since living with her, Gilbert's job had been feeding the chickens twice a day during the whole entire week Gilbert and Caramel had been getting into fights, it was quite a funny site to see a grown man fighting a rather large rooster especially when the guy loses to a rooster twelve times out of fourteen.

Gilbert only got lucky on the two occasions, the first time was because he managed to push Caramel into a tube of water that the cows drank getting him soaked and the second time Dugo had interfered when the two fought into the corral and managed to spill the hay on the ground.

Maria managed to record that on her cellphone and show it to Nene when she got home.

She looked out from her window and tried desperately not to laugh as she looked over at Prussia who put on some black pants. "Hey Gilbert?"

"What?"

"you better hurry because it looks like caramel's waiting for you." She stated

Gilbert walked towards the window and took a peek outside. On top of the chicken coop Caramel was glaring at him as if he was saying that he's waiting for him to get his ass out from the room.

He gave out a smirk as he grabbed a nearby shirt and started running down the stairs.

Maria only chuckled as she got out into the hall and knocked on the door that was on the other side of the wall.

"Nene wake up you got to get ready for school." She yelled

The sounds of Nene grumbling and something being thrown at the door was her answer.

Maria chuckled, "alright then, I'll just go milk the cows.

* * *

><p><strong>Meanwhile in the Kitchen<strong>

Shadow was lying on a nearby chair as he watched the Frenchman cook up breakfast for the morning.

Francis sweat dropped as he felt Shadow's eyes on him. For the whole week that Francis had arrived, the German shepherd hadn't left the Frenchmen's side and when Francis locked himself in the bathroom. Shadow just laid on the floor and waited for the Frenchmen to get out, no matter what Francis did Shadow refused to let him out of his sight.

Even at night where he slept in the old art room, Shadow had decided he was sharing the bed with the Frenchman by sleeping at the foot of the bed, any sudden movements and Shadow would let out an angry growl telling the Frenchman. 'If you leave this room without my permission, I'm going to maul your face off.' Shadow would only let him leave when it was the next morning when he could hear movement from upstairs signaling him that his lady and the young miss were awake.

Which lead right now to this situation…

Francis let out a yawn as he flipped over one of his French crepes on a rather large pan. He wasn't use to getting up so early, however this new home he was suddenly in demanded for everyone to be awaken very early.

The sounds of footsteps echoed from the stairs as he saw Gilbert slide down from the railing as he looked over to Francis. "Morning Franny can't talk right now, I have to go beat a stupid chi…er I mean feed the chickens, because they miss the awesome me presence."

"Yes, yes Gilbert have fun." Francis muttered

"kesesese…"

He opened the back door as he started running towards the chicken coop ready for another round with Caramel.

Francis chuckled his friend was sometime rather stupid however that's what made him a great friend.

"Morning Francis…." A rather feminine voice responded.

Francis turned around to see Maria in a red jacket and wearing some faded blue jeans, her hair was a little messy however the way it stood made her look rather cute.

"Morning Belle Maria, Did you have a wonderful sleep." He asked

Maria frowned as she crossed her arms. "If you call Gilbert crushing me in his sleep, while drooling on my pillows wonderful. Then yes."

"Honhonhonhon, I didn't think you too were in that type of relationship."

Maria blushed, "I'm not, stop thinking perverted thing Francis." She gulped down her café con leche and started walking towards the door. "I'm going to go feed the cows, Make sure Nene eats her breakfast and gets ready for school."

"Of course, my lady anything for you."

* * *

><p>Nene grumbled as she looked over to her clock as it blared the numbers 7:05 on the screen. She sighed; Maria always tried to wake her up early to do a few chores however she needed her beauty sleep more. But now it was time to get up.<p>

Nene quickly dressed into a pair of blue pants and a long white sleeve shirt with a picture of Gir on it before grabbing her backpack and entering Maria's room.

She looked over to her sister's desk before spotting the object she was looking for.

Maria's Laptop…

She actually wanted to take it to school because Maria computer could create its own Wi-Fi source so she could go on the internet without being blocked by the school's fire wall.

Really it sucked when you can't read any Yaoi when you needed it, as well as going onto you tube and watching Invader Zim as well.

She quickly stuffed the laptop into her backpack as she trotted downstairs to the kitchen. Her mouth started to water as the sweet smell of Francis crepes were in the air.

When she turned to see the kitchen and blinked as she noticed Maria with the first aid kit and was currently disinfecting one of the rather large cuts on Gilbert's arm

"Scheiβe, be careful, Miss B-cup." He muttered

Maria only grabbed a big piece of cloth and poured some rubbing alcohol on it before shoving it to Gilbert's face were a few scratches were there bleeding.

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!" Gilbert screamed as he took the cloth away from his face.

"What the Hell!" He screamed.

"Quit calling me Miss B-cup, besides it's not my fault you fell on that prickly bush."

"Then why haven't you cut the stupid thing down if you know it's there."

"Because I rather like it, especially when a stupid Prussian falls on it because a rooster chased him."

"Hey I got that bastard back by pulling a few tail feathers out, just a few more and I can make my own feathered Mohawk."

"Keep your mouth shut, idiot." She muttered as she bandaged his arm.

Nene couldn't help but to smirk as she walked in and sat down as she looked at a plate of crepes in front of her.

"Ah, you are finally awake. Mon chéri." Francis greeted her.

"Yeah, no thanks to their yelling." Nene muttered as she took a bite of the crepe.

"I see, now eat up or you'll be late for school." Francis told her.

Nene quickly stuffed herself with the crepe in front of her; it was rather delicious then again anything Francis made was delicious.

After a few minutes she was done the sound of a car honking was heard from outside.

"There's my ride." She drank her glass of milk quickly before heading out the door.

"Hey Nene you forgot something?" Maria yelled

Nene sighed as she walked over to her sister before giving her a peck to the cheek. "There are you happy."

Maria smiled, "Yup."

Francis then came up to her as he handed her a large basket. "It's lunch so you don't have to eat the school's nasty food."

"Thanks Francis." Nene muttered

"call me big brother." He said happily

"how about no…" she retorted

France made a rather weird whining sound, and then he wrapped his arms around Nene. "Oh how can be so cruel to Big Brother France."

"Easy, by completely ignoring your French whining." She said happily as she got out of Francis embrace as she walked out the door where her ride was waiting for her.

"See ya later Nene." Maria yelled as she waved her hand.

"See ya Maria, By the way I have your laptop I'm going to borrow it for a while bye now." She yelled back.

The car drove off leaving Maria speechless for a moment, "Hey wait a minute I never gave you permission to grab my stuff come back here brat."

"Um… Frau I don't think she can hear you anymore." Gilbert said annoyingly

"I know that, and don't call me Frau, I know what that means and I have name so use it."

"oh yeah so what does it mean?" He asked thinking she didn't know any German.

"It means woman in German dumbass." She yelled

Gilbert frowned, "Your just jealous of the awesome me super awesome brain."

"That isn't even a sentence, you know what I'm too upset to care, I'm going to make some tamales for dinner."

"But it's 7:30 in the morning." Francis muttered

"I know that puto, however Tamales are very delicate recipe and it can take a matter of hours to complete it especially when I'm planning to make about 60."

"why?" Gilbert asked

"Each one will represent the number of times I wanted to beat your sorry ass." She said darkfully

Gilbert gulped as he watched the small Mexican woman go inside the house and prepare to make some tamales

* * *

><p><strong>Later<strong>

Francis was on the couch with Shadow right next to him; Francis had to wonder if the pooch ever slept or ate because it was starting to get creepy when the pooch never left his side for anything.

Shadow on the other hand was only ignoring the Frenchman's stare as it watched the Frenchmen's soap opera. His eyes were on the TV watching a pretty cute looking golden retriever lying on the giant bed.

Shadow ears perked up as he heard a strange yet familiar sound as he turned his head away from the T.V. and turned to the front door. He quickly got up as he started running and let himself out through the broken living room window.

"Hmm, I wonder why suddenly the big pooch decided to leave me alone." Francis muttered out loud.

The sounds of screaming could be heard outside. Maria turned away from the large pot filled with tamales as she wiped her hands with a nearby cloth and headed towards the door.

Again there stood out favorite delivery guy Eric…

"Hey Carl, nice to see you again" She smiled

"My name is Eric; you called me Carl the last time as well." He said as he avoided Shadow who seemed to want to jump him.

Maria cocked her head to the side. "But you look more like a Carl to me."

"Yeah whatever just tell your dog to get away from me?" He muttered

Maria gave out a small whistle, as Shadow retreated from biting Eric's butt and walked back inside. Maria gave him a tiny smirked as he handed her the signing board.

"So who did I get this time?" She asked

"You'll find out soon enough." He replied

Eric moved the giant crate into the living room as he noticed Francis just lying there.

"Bonjour." France gave him a wink

Eric sweat dropped as he quickly moved away from the room and grabbed the signing board away from Maria and gave her the manual.

"Next time have the dog on a leash or something."

"No promises Eric." She said smiling

"It's Carl."

"Whatever…" She said boredly

Maria shut the door on his face as she looked at the name on the manual.

**ARTHUR KIRKLAND: User Guide and Manual**

.

.

.

Maria couldn't help but to be a little disappointed after all she had been expecting to at least get a Spain unit instead. Life was certainly full of disappointment.

"so who did we get?"

Maria jumped in surprised as Gilbert appeared next to her grabbing the manual from his hands.

"How long were you behind me?" She asked

"I came in awesomely when you weren't looking…Aw we got big brows I was hoping to get Antonio."

"Angleterre?" Francis muttered

Maria looked at the crate, so instead of getting a hot sexy Spaniard in her household, she instead got some prissy Brit who couldn't cook to save his life and enjoyed making doilies and sipped tea and was a grammar Nazi when it came to the English language.

.

.

.

It was official they were all going to die in the hands of the British.

She also needed someone to guard the kitchen just in case England decided they needed to taste good English food.

"hey Hey HEY!"

Maria blinked from her thoughts as she looked over to Gilbert and Francis.

"Um..Yes?"

"I said are you going to wake him up." Gilbert asked

"Yeah…just hand me the manual." Maria said as she extended her hand.

Maria looked at the ways to get England out from the crate.

She didn't feel like going out to get hamburgers, really if she did that Nene would refuse to eat the tamales and she sure as hell wasn't going to waste food.

She looked at option number two, she sighed Nene had decided to take her laptop to school today.

Option three required scotch or whiskey…she frowned the poor bastard wasn't getting any of that. All that was around the house was beer, tequila, German beer, expensive French wine (she had to waste money when Francis insisted her needed it for cooking purposes.) and a few bottle of Dr. Pepper.

She looked at the fourth option; It required Spanish or French food.

Maria set the manual down as she ran back into the kitchen and opened the large lid from the giant pot that the tamales were in.

Francis and Gilbert wondered what was taking so long after a few short minutes Maria came back with a plate of tamales.

"Alright I guess option four will have to do, you two get behind the couch."

She set the plate down on the counter and hid quickly hid beside them.

"Hey?" Gilbert muttered

"What?" She replied

"Isn't that food from Mexico, the manual said Spanish, not Mexican."

Maria sighed. "If I recall my History, Tamales were used as a staple food during the Spanish conquistador stay in Mexico and the tamales were then spread through other Spanish colonies, plus you think England will know the difference. One whiff of it and hell think it's a Spanish dish,"

"Then why hasn't he come out?" Francis asked

"Eh?"

"It's been three minutes already." He replied as he got up from the couch

"Hey check the manual." Gilbert yelled

"I can't" Maria replied

"Why not?" He asked

I left the manual next to the tamales." She said as she face palm

"Dumbass."

"Alright I guess that means I have to open the crate don't I?"

"Yeah now move your unawesome ass will you."

"Jerk."

"You know you love me." He got up as he opened the door to the kitchen. "If you need me, I'll be in your unawesome room listening to your somewhat awesome music."

She watched him go; France looked at her before holding out his hand. Maria blinked at him, "What do you want?"

"I need money to buy more food for tomorrow's dinner."

"Why? I have food already done for tonight." She yelled at him, Maria certainly wasn't going to waste money because he wanted something different.

"Yes, however I want something French tomorrow" He said softly

Maria frowned, "Aren't you at least going to stay here to get England out of the crate."

France looked at the crate for a moment it was tempting to wait for Angleterre. "I'll bug him after I come back."

He grabbed the money she had pulled out from her wallet and walked out the door leaving Maria by herself with the crate.

Ok that was weird for once a pervert like Francis didn't want to wait for her to wake up England that was already ringing alarms in her head. However she just grumbled as she looked at the crate for a moment before noticing a latch to the side. She unhinged it before removing the top and peering inside.

Indeed it was England…

However it was much rather different England sporting a rather pirated looking outfit laying there asleep.

Maria blushed; alright what person wouldn't blush looking at a gorgeous man sleeping in a crate.

'_Oh God, I'm sounding like some sort of stalker, more preferably like France.'_ She thought

She noticed England's eyes twitch as he opened her eyes and finally notice her staring at him.

"Um hi…"

Suddenly Pirate England grabbed her wrist as he pulled her closer to him. "Your look like a Spanish wench, don't tell me I'm at that bastard house."

Maria blinked for a moment before she realized what he was referring to…

"Um, no you are not in Spain, you're actually in America."

Then why do you look like a bloody Spaniard."

"That's because I'm from Mexico, dumbass."

Pirate England raised an eyebrow, god those eye brows were massive. "What is this Mexico?"

Maria mentally face palm. Of course this was Pirate England she was talking about so he wouldn't know anything about the future including that countries and technology have change drastically.

"I'm mean New Spain."

England only growled as he shoved her away, Maria landed on her butt as England finally got out of the crate. "Well since I'm here guess you just have to be my slave then."

Maria blinked

.

.

.

'_Did he just say slave?'_ she thought before getting up and looking at him directly in the eye.

"Listen here you dirty Pirate! I am no one' slave and I'll be damned before I let someone who thinks he's so high and might to think that about me, puto."

England glared at her before smirking as he pulled out his cutlass from his pants before pointing it at Maria. "I see you have some fire in you, but like hell am I allowing a bloody dago insult me." He pressed the sharp end of the cutlass to her neck as she took a few steps back until she hit the wall.

The pirate smirked, "you need to be taught some manners."

Maria growled, alright this definitely what she wasn't expecting. She glared at the pirate as she grabbed the cutlass tightly and pulled it away from her. She winced as the blood slowly seeped from her hand.

'_Ok maybe that wasn't a good idea.'_ She thought. This was probably why Francis and Gilbert left so she could deal with this bastard.

Before the two could continue, England was suddenly brought down when something large tackled him down and gave a huge chomp to his leg.

Shadow teeth gnawed onto England's leg, He had smelled his owner's blood a few seconds ago and had snuck in through the window to see a rather strange man holding a sharp object to her and saw the blood seeping from his owner hand.

No one was supposed to make her bleed, unless they wanted to die.

"Oi you bloody prat," The pirate growled as he tried to kick the rather large dog with his leg. Shadow gave a large yelp as he was kicked to his side.

Maria soon acted. "You Bastard, don't you dare hurt my dog." She held him in lace on the floor. As Shadow got up again and stood by his master's side as he growled at England.

"I demand you, let me go wench." He started struggling as he managed to get one of his hands free and gave Maria a left hook to the face, knocking her back.

Maria wiped the blood from her lips as she watched the English pirate stand up.

England winced as his leg throbbed; dammit he knew he was going to be sore tomorrow and all because he wasn't paying attention to his surroundings. He noticed the dog getting up and started barking at him.

"Well you bloody mutt, seems you have a death wish. Are you really going to fight me for your master's sake?" He said as he thrusted his cutlass at him. Shadow only gave out a snarl as he lunged at the pirate and managed to dodge the sharp edge of his sword and bit down at his arm.

"Fucken kraut…" He swore, as he was brought down again. He could feel the dog's teeth going into his arm he gritted his teeth as felt his blood seeping through his coat.

"Shadow, stop!" Maria commanded

Shadow ears perked up as he looked over to Maria who had stood up, a bruise was forming at her cheek, and a small limp but other than that she was fine.

The German shepherd let go of England's arms as he walked over to his master and stood next to her as she patted his head. "Good job boy, I'll handle it from here."

Maria walked over to England as she grabbed the cutlass from the floor and pointed it at England. "Now then we will try this again. My name is Maria Hidalgo Guerrero, and welcome to my home. May I ask for your name Captain or do you want another round with Shadow here."

England frowned for a moment before giving out a smile. "You got a lot of guts for a lass, to point my own weapon against me. Though I have to give you credit, most women I give a good left hook to the face would start crying."

"I'm not like other girls." She put the cutlass on the counter as she extended her hand to help him up.

"I can see that." He grabbed her hand as he was suddenly stood up.

England winced as he applied some pressure on his leg. "Bloody hell that mutt of yours really knows how to bite."

"Of course he does, he's my friend and the one who guards the house. It's only natural for him to defend the person that has taken such good care of him, now let see if we can't bandage you up, captain."

"Kirkland…" he muttered

"Hmm…"

"My name is Arthur Kirkland, lass and you better not forget about it."

"Of course not, Captain Kirkland." She replied as she led him to the bathroom.

* * *

><p>AN: and I end it there because I wanted to, for the love of god I couldn't find a good intro for Pirate England to come out quietly in only came out as a huge fight fest between Maria and him.

The reason I have this England ask so many questions s because in my theory when it comes to units they be programed to what they know and thus he would only know info of his time meaning basic technology such as the phone or the shower wouldn't exist in his programming as well as new geography and changes such as Mexico no longer being called New Spain or the fact that he longer controls America anymore…

Wow… now 'm excited to see when America will show up but that won't be till a few more chapters.

Also England called Shadow a Kraut because hey it a German dog…

Also another unit will come in the next chapter though you're going to have to guess which one it is. I'll give you a hint – DATASS…


End file.
